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Learning to unlearn. Living in the future.


I am obsessed with BBC1, "Better things" Directed by Pamala Adlon. @pamelaadlon




In my opinion her observational skills are so on point. I'm not quite sure how much of her character is based on her own views but I imagine that the joy of directing is being able to use language to influence and support the audience to explore humanity in order to progress, learn valuable lessons and evolve!! Thats my take on it anyway!


I love the way she draws the audience to take notice of language and human behaviour, Especially through her three on screen Children/young people


In season 4, episode 6.YouTube

The middle child young person(They/Them)Frankie Fox, throws out this quote By Gloria steinam http://www.gloriasteinem.com/

"The first problem for all of us. Men and Women, is to learn to un learn"

Frankie is increasingly frustrated with how she has to remind their mom to use identity affirming language which is why the quote is so meaningful in this particular episode.


Boom..... "We need to Learn to Unlearn" Yes, thats it!!!

In that one moment my brain exploded with how many ways we need to learn to unlearn.

When I say "we" What I actually mean is everyone that has fallen victim to the pathology paradigm in its ideology, principles, mind set and values.

Not only the pathologizing of neurdivergent people but also any kind of oppressive attitudes where by others dictate how others should live and love.

When your shown or given an alternative, choice can be very empowering and validating. Especially when you spent a life time of being sold the opposite of who you are supposed to be.


I've been told this week that I might be ahead of my time with where I live.

I think this may be true and I can tell you its a lonely place to be when no one wants to engage and they look at you like your speaking in a foreign language.


Neurodivergent/identity affirming language is fluent through out "Better things "and it is so therapeutic and affirming to listen to. Not that the story lines are introducing you to neurodivergent characters as neurodivergent characters who use neurodivergent affirming language, however the issues that neurodivergent people face with bigoted language and attitudes mean there is a ton load of cross overs in terms of relatability.

#LGBTQIA/Neurodivergent community are in my opinion, trail blazers for validating and empowering language for example.


What does my opening title, "Learning to unlearn. Living in the future" actually mean for us as neurodivergent people?


Learning to unlearn


-TO REPLACE YEARS AND YEARS OF PATHOLOGISING LANGUAGE

-TO EXPLORE, RESEARCH AND TAKE BACK OWNERSHIP OF AUTISTIC IDENTITY AND CULTURE

-TO EMPOWER MY SON TO TRULEY KNOW HIMSELF, AS HE IS, SO HE CAN ADVOCATE AND EDUCATE OTHERS IF HE CHOOSES.


-To explore why we feel so guilty around identifying as neurodivergent people whilst not having an official diagnosis

-To recover from compliance training and explore the impact on #mentalhealth

-To know that there is a better way. An alternative. A choice

-To be #free

-For Neurotypical people and our allies to enable us to educate them as apposed to them educating us on "autism"

-To move away from the singular model of being and all rules of "acceptable /appropriate" "behaviour" which apply to neurotypical people as the gold standard of being are no longer referred too or used to measure neurodivergent people against.


Living in the future

-Living in a world were we are not seen as a marginalised and oppressed group.

-Living in a world we are are not described as "having Autism" or "living with autism"

I'm not living with autism. It doesnt pay me rent.

I'm living with people that dont understand autisitc identity, Thats what we are living with

-All training is developed and delivered by neurodivergent people.

-Not being seen as something to be treated, fixed or cured

-My autistic child wont need to behave like a neurotypical person. He can be his self, as he is.

-ABA has been banned and the history books will explain the harmful effects it had on generations of neurodivergent children.


This is a very basic list as my brain is needing a break but you get my point.( I Hope!)


https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b0by48k1/better-things-series-1-1-pilot?seriesId=p0cf7y3k

So thankyou Pamala Adlon. @pamelaadlon for including the above quote by Gloria steinam http://www.gloriasteinem.com/


"The first problem for all of us. Men and Women, is to learn to un learn"


This has inspired this blog today


You can find "Better things" on https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b0by48k1/better-things-series-1-1-pilot?seriesId=p0cf7y3k


If have enjoyed or are inspired by my words.

Your welcome.

I am aware that my grammar and spelling is not the best but hope will ignore this and appreciate the content.


Lots of love


Jenny and Joe
































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